Foodies.

If "Yan can cook" (remember this show with that funny accented chinese chef?), so could Gooly.

And so he did. Celery soup. Yum... It was quite easy really. I chopped up the ingredients and he put them in. It gave him a sense of achievement. So great he felt that he immediately wanted to share his food with papah.

He opened up the window, and yelled," WIND, carry the smell off to papah's office!"

Cute.

On a another food related note, we went out to Kayu for supper some time back. I love puris. Have you tried them? They are like mega-huge. Here, take a look.




So huge they are that Gooly's immediate reaction was, "Wow, mahmee..they are big! Just like your bra."

Ahem.. Yaumoegauchor? Mine are bigger, ok? :P

(See how you can call me a dictator today)

The things I do to keep him happy

At approx. 3pm, I changed my status at FB to "Rain, no rain? C'mon! Decide oredi!!".

It was because Gooly was nagging every 5 minutes to go swimming. Finally, I relented. We got changed and went to the pool.

..and drip drip drop...It began to drizzle.

Grrrrrreaaat! The rain wasn't heavy, but if we made a u-turn, the rain from Gooly's tear ducts will be unbearable!

Having been called dictator, stalin, 'richard' marx and a communist, I decided to chill out a bit. Relax...take deep breaths. What's a little rain? Let's open up the pool umbrella and wait a bit for the rain to stop.

Pitter patter.. Drizzle became rain. Uh-oh~

I began to grumble and whine like a 4 yr old - "What are we doing here? It's raining. I'm wet. I want to go home. I'm cold. I will get sick."

And Gooly who is 4.5 turned 50 - "Be patient. The rain will stop soon. Don't be angry. C'mon! You can use the towel to cover yourself."

Despite being 50, he began to dance and sing in the rain.

Tralalala~~~~

Cute.

ฺBetween feeling manipulated, cheated, frustrated and wet, a smile managed to creep in. So, I put on the swimming cap, looked like an idiot to the other residents, and waited some more.

And when we finally dipped in the pool, it was freaking cold!!! Nobody told me anything about strong threshold against cold and rain when I applied for motherhood. Geeeeesh!

Why did I do that again? Ah yes, to keep my boy happy.

C'mon! Give me an award already! I'm cool. I let my son play in the rain. Just don't tell my MIL that.

Achhooooo!

Tough!

It's been a while since he killed some brain cells of mine.

He did it again, a couple of days back. Gooly wanted to know:

HOW DO BANANAS TURN FROM GREEN TO YEYOW (yellow) ?

Oh-kay, son. You want to know why bananas are yellow when they ripe? Like how leaves turn brown? Or sky turns orange when the sun sets? You know what? I don't know. *smile* Lemme check with my friends.

She said it has something to do with PIGmentation, which makes sense until she explained it this way, "Long ago, PIGs loved bananas."

Meanwhile, he said something about maturity-breasts and periods. And somehow bananas got lost in the plot.

Whatdoido..whatdoido...whatdoido.... (with friends like them?)

I google the answer, of course.

So we learned about chlorophyll, and also never to depend on my friends on scientific matters.

Also, I thought he had given up his profession as a neologist right after creating "skoobables". There were no inspirations for new words for some time. All of the sudden, he resumed his duty as the creator of "ENGLISHEN".

My son is creating a new language called ENGLISHEN. Should I be ..erm...errr...ah... worried? *bite nails*

Why? WHY? Do you want to learn a new language, son? Learn Mandarin, Thai..Cantonese, even.. But when I try to teach you, you turn a deaf ear. Why Englishen? Why the trouble of creating a new language?

"Because it's easy with Englishen. You say 'tampong' when you tangle up a person with string. There is no English word for 'tampong'."


=_____=*

But nobody speaks Englishen. Nobody will understand you.

"I teach you. You learn it. First word is 'maiminpao'. When you blow bubbles, and nothing come out, you say, 'maiminpao."

+______+*

WHY ME......why me......why me............

Duuk ..dukkk...dukkk.....*hitting head againts wall AGAIN*

Stage 2, FIGHT!

I am officially declaring year 4.5 as another stage of parenting.

I need new strategy.

I need new tactics.

I cannot be check-mated by a 4.5 yr old. Grrr!

***

Previously, I have naively thought I will never be using certain words in my motherhood career. Words like:

a. Listen to me. I am your mother.
b. Fine. Don't listen to me.
c. Don't ask why. Just do it.
d. Because I said so.
e. How dare you?
f. NO! Just no. Don't ask why.

Currently, I spit these words like a child spits peas . Very often and very unhealthy. To top it off, I have a perpetual "WT..." look. I scowl like I am constipated. Very often and also very unhealthy.

You would too if you listened to him talk. Like this:

Him: *pouring out some Smarties into a bowl* You tell me when to stop eating. But not now.

Me: Okay. When?

Him: *starts munching* Not now.

Me: Okay. *starts FB-ing*

(Few minutes passed. He sauntered to the sink and placed the empty bowl in it.)

Me: You finished everything? I thought you were supposed to leave some.

Him: You didn't tell me to stop. Next time tell me to stop.

That's when my face became constipated. That's when I heard an imaginary "check-mate!" Helloh! One moment of FB-ing, and he ate my 'pawn'?

Grr...!

Then again, it's only Smarties- matchbox size. I should just chill. It's not like he eats them and his teeth drop off there and then.

I know. I'm so contradicting.

BUT!

Do excuse me. I am just trying to live another day without blowing a blood vessel, okay??

Now, back to the list on top. I should pick (e) "HOW DARE YOU?" in a shituation like this, don't you think?

I'm so losing my mojo. *gasp*

Duuk...duuuk...duuk...(my head hitting the wall)

Who is the boss?

While taking a dump, Gooly and I had this conversation.. Nope..it was more like an argument... Whatever~ The thing was he was sitting on the WC at the shopping mall, yapping nonstop about atm machines.

Him: Sometimes you go to the atm machine, and the machine can transform.

Me: No, it cannot. ( I was harsh cos helloh! he was shitting! Why are we discussing this here?)

Him: YES! IT CAN. It can transform into a cooking machine.

Me: No! It can't. Now concentrate...Quickly finish off. It's smelly here.

Him: I can concentrate ...Uuhhk *pushing his shit* and talk at the same time. You face the other side.

Me: You are so bossy!

Him: Cover your nose.

Me: *roll eyes*

Him: The atm machine can cook, you know! (Oh boy, here we go again!)

Me: No! Atm machines are where you withrawl money from the bank. It doesnt cook. You are wrong!

Him: TRUST ME! DON'T SAY I AM WRONG! WHY YOU SAY I AM WRONG?

Me: You are wrong because atm machines can't cook. Can atm machines cook? They can't! So you are wrong!

Him: *giggles* Of course ATM machines can't cook, you silly mahmee.

Me: *wt.. look*

Him: Ok, I am done. Wipe my buttock.

Me: Yes, sir~ Sigh! Look, can you say 'please' when you need me to clean your butt?

..which he did, eventually. But can you see how bossy he is?

Later that night, when I re-iterated that he is bossy, he said, " I AM NOT BOSSY! DON'T SAY I AM BOSSY!" I gave him that "THERE THERE THERE.. this is what bossiness is about!" look.

FYI, my friend calls him "koonkarjai".

Greeeattttt! Just great! I have two bosses now. And yet my bank account is pathetic. Ok, the reason I disliked discussing about atm machines is because...

I HAVE NO MONEY TO WITHDRAWL!

Geddit, boss?

Komplen

Dear Gooly,

Here's the deal: when life throws you shit, you eat it , you flush it. You don't complain, you don't call up radio stations, you don't write to Thelma, you don't JUST cry.

YOU DEAL WITH IT.

YOU DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

YOU SOLVE IT.

Geddit?

Love, Mahmee.

****

Ok, the shit analogy is not great. But he gets the drift. After 4.5 years living on the same planet as other homo sapiens, he is finally attempting to break from the norm.

Yep, the norm of complaining. Sit and complain. Shit and complain. Cry and complain. Whine and complain. That's what humans are best at.

Because we are an alien family, we do not want to complain like the human race, do we? *ahem*

Here's what happened. Papah has been very busy this week. (This is a statement. It's not a complaint.) Gooly misses him. Say, how come I don't get to be missed? (This is a query, not a complaint.)..

Anyways, they haven't seen each other for days. I promised that when he awoke this morning, papah will be back. But then papah had to leave for work early. So Gooly missed him again. Today is the 3 rd day since he last saw him.

Naturally, he woke feeling dissapointed that Papah wasn't around. AGAIN. Because we aren't allowed to wallow in self pity, I asked,"What do you want to do to make yourself feel better?"

He picked up the phone and dialed the 10 digits number (which I have problem remembering.)

Hello? Papah?

Where are you? Working? Office?

The pool is too cold.

Yeah.. I know..

You know what..?

I love you.. Are you coming back tonight? Ok, I will wait up.

I miss you too.

Ok, bye..

I was brushing my teeth, eavesdropping. Smiling with a mouthful of Darlie foam isn't quite attractive. Nonetheless, I am sure the recipient of the caller was also beaming.

Gooly was all cheery after the call. Ah.. that boy had a problem, he dealt with it. There was no tears.

Now, there is nothing to complain about that, eh? (except that HOW COME I DON'T GET TO BE MISSED?)

Seriously, I do.

This is the clip we watch on screen before the movies start. We stand straight. We feel emo. We get teary. (Ok, perhaps only I do).

I have grown to love Thailand. Seriously? There is no other place I'd rather call home.

How do you say ILAFIU in thai? I dunno but ILAFIU, you know?